My favorite word, Jesus:
God is faithful even when we are faithless! In every moment of STEM (Sarang Team for Evangelical Missions)—from before, during, and after my trip to India—God has timelessly and personally revealed how everlasting, omnipotent, and sovereign He is. Through various tests of faith that strengthened my trust in Him, I was able to develop a much more intimate relationship with God and see Him moving both in India and in my life, drawing me closer to Him than ever before.
Signing up for STEM was a test of faith in itself. Ever since I entered college, God has been exposing how selfish my ambitions are and how jealous He is for my affections. Jesus states in John 6:27, “Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life.” God rebuked me through this verse: my entire life, I had been working to fill my life with worldly accomplishments—food that spoils—instead of growing in Him and sharing the precious Bread of Life with others. This verse reminded me to live for the Kingdom, and in being convicted of this calling, I obeyed the Lord and signed up for STEM, trusting that God would sustain me with His daily bread. Yet, I was confronted with various fears after committing to STEM, initial fears that escalated during our final days of training. Because the tourist visas for the guys on our team had still not been approved by the Indian Embassy and Consulates, it was uncertain whether or not our mission trip was going to proceed according to schedule although we were less than one week away from our scheduled date of departure. However, with complete faith that God would provide, our entire team came together to cry out to the Lord. In accordance with His perfect timing, the guys’ visas were received with only a few days left to spare—plenty of time in God’s eyes. This experience taught me lessons that would be reaffirmed on the mission field: to maintain a prayerful heart and to have faith in the Lord and in His sovereign power.
God revealed Himself even more powerfully and personally while I was in India. Before going on STEM, I struggled with fear, and it began to take dominance over my life. However, little did I know how severely the enemy would use my fears against me. One day at the girls’ apartment in India, some of the girls noticed dark shadows moving around in the apartment but expressed that they were not afraid. However, upon hearing about these shadows, fear immediately paralyzed me and I became paranoid that these spirits would affect me. That night, as I was sleeping, I had three encounters of scissor-lock where, no matter how many times I would try to cast the demon away in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, the demon simply would not flee. Instead, it kept mocking and taunting me by returning and bothering me throughout the night. I was so confused: in James 4:7, it explicitly states that if I resist the devil, he will flee from me, yet why had I been unable to do so? I learned from Pastor Jeff that the demon had not fled because I did not have faith in the power of Jesus’ name. Instead, I had used the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit as if it was a magic spell, a formula to get rid of the demon with my mouth rather than from the depths of my heart. Through this encounter, God rebuked me and taught me to have greater faith in His power and sovereignty. This brought my relationship with God to a whole new level, for He is now greater than any of my fears. After all, if God is for me, who or what could ever be against me?
By solidifying my faith in Him, God revealed Himself so powerfully and intimately to me through STEM. I hope that I will continue to discover the riches of His love and beauty and grow deeper in my relationship with Him. Furthermore, I hope that we can all be faithful and obedient servants now in this mission field, being the salts and the lights of the Earth in our homes, schools, and communities and giving Him all glory, honor, and praise. As Paul declares in Romans 11:36, “For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever!” Soli Deo Gloria!
